The worst thing happened but the next day the sun still came up. I had made my tea and listened to my favorite song. Read quotes, and said good morning. And faced the day with a little bit of hope in my heart.
We say little things but those little things have created our current best self. if we look back it's not those big decisions we took, it was the moments we lived.
For a while, there was no track in life. I wasn't going anywhere. Felt stuck for a long time. I was looking for a path to hop on and to follow. But it took me a long time to realize I don't need to find a track to follow, I can create my very own path. And it has been so amazing creating my own track.
Picked up the pen and started writing my own story where I'm the main character. Filling every page of my life journal with love, lessons, achievements, and zero regrets. Writing my life journal has been the most amazing feeling in the world. I would never trade this feeling for anything. It made me love my life a little bit more every day.
5 years ago I was a mess. Still, I am a mess but at peace with it and with a cooler fashion sense. I've created a new version of myself. A me that celebrates small victories. A me that doesn't force things to work, doesn't push friendships and doesn't squeeze myself to fit in someone else's jigsaw puzzle. A me, that's grateful when things work out and okay when they don't. I've created a version of me that loves me.
I did everything because every day seemed like it was raining and I always wanted to see the sun again. I did it for the days when I would laugh so hard my stomach would hurt. I did it because I wanted to believe that despite the messed up person that I am, despite all the scars and the holes in my chest, I deserve another shot at happiness.
I know it took a while, but I couldn't be prouder.
I finally came back into this version of myself where I am eager to do a lot of things without minding what others might think and say about them. I want to reach a bunch of stars. collect them one by one, no matter how high and far they are. no matter how impossible they are to touch. I am willing to climb heights just to have them.
If suffering first means holding the stars one day, I am willing to pass through them without any doubt. As I am always becoming unbecoming.
A lot of things are ending and a lot of thongs are beginning. And everything is worth it. Because there's always something good coming.
Cheers to everything.
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